I saw him while waiting for the bus this evening on my way home from the studio.

I know better than to fight with the paintings. Nothing good comes of it. But with art walk on Thursday I had hoped to have some of the in-progress work in a little bit better shape. Yet all I accomplished was to get a lot more paint on each canvas which ultimately, is a good thing. It was an afternoon of music blaring from my iShuffle and much wine while I viciously attacked the pieces.

So here is a pigeon because the paintings bite.

It's part of my creative process. I've felt myself sinking for over a week which by now, I know is a cyclical thing. It happens after a large productive push and so for a few weeks I'll be immersed in massive doubt and much extra effort will be needed to paint because the canvas will absolutely terrify me. And then, after making mush upon mush upon even more grey oatmeal mush, I'll bust through to another level. In the meantime, I paint.

And show you a pigeon.

A black & white detail of one of my paintings in progress.

I had totally forgotten that I took a few photos on Friday until last night. This is from a truly delicious, very little and cozy Italian restaurant a few blocks from my studio. Bill and I stopped in for food after we hit a few galleries that afternoon.

It appeared to be regular Italian food but the flavors were so clean..so fresh. Each bite had me doing a happy dance in my seat. We were both quite impressed with the quality. It's going to be one of my new favorite places.

Today, hopefully, I can finish all I need to in the office which means I may not have to come in at all tomorrow. It would give me a 5 day weekend...to rest, and more importantly, to paint.

Speaking of painting, I just happened to notice that the nails on my left hand after a week, are no longer stained in ultramarine blue. Last week I accidentally grabbed a paper towel that had a big clump of blue paint which had gotten under my nails.

And also in painting news, the curator of the group show I was in, "Meet Greet Rinse Repeat", published a book of the show with each piece on a separate page. The book is 10"x8" and can be purchased here. You can also preview the book at that link.


And also in painting news, the curator of the group show I was in self-published a book of the show with each piece on a separate page. The book is 10"x8" and can be purchased here.

Totally swamped at work and it is taking precedence over everything else. 'Tis the season.

Here's another image from last Thursday evening at Espresso Vivace.

I'm still not quite up to snuff and am seriously considering not going to the studio this evening, yet instead, resting. It's frustrating because I have some exciting ideas generated by two shows I saw in the last week that I'm chomping at the bit to begin.

This photo was taken last Thursday while waiting for my cafe Niko from Vivace on Broadway.

Friday night I became sick. Although I was in bed early to be rested for the work event the next morning, I ended up awake until after 3 am...sore...achey. Very sadly, I had to miss the scholarship breakfast. In doing so, I decided to block the weekend out for rest. My body needed to stop. My head is still fuzzy. My nose itchy.

Because I haven't taken any shots in the last day or so and tulips are my favorite posies, I decided to post this photo, shot at the farmers market from a few weeks ago. It brings the happy.

Yesterday was a really full day. By 4 pm, I was spent. Happy because the presentation went well but fairly tired. Catching up on work, and then receiving an increase in responsibilities left me with nothing to give to my painting. I ended up meeting a friend for dinner...some wine and unwinding.

While we sat at Table 219 enjoying our meal, I noticed the light. The setting sun hitting a dark grey sky. My former beloved cafe was highlighted. Septieme...now a tomb, is slated to be torn down along with most of the block.

I still miss that place, especially in our warmer season when the outdoor tables were a perfect perch.

Last week I was asked to present to a college class this morning. On gender.

"Are you sure you want me? I'm not trans. I'm not butch. I'm not femme. I'm just me. I default to female because I have girl bits. Some see me as girl, some see me as boy. I'll answer to whatever and don't bother correcting people because I've realized when they call me a certain gender, it's clearly more important for them than it is for me. Sometimes I do feel like a woman but most times I feel…human. Just fully human. And I like human. Most times I don't even know what woman or man means. Gentleness. Nurturing. Emotional. Aggression. Assertiveness. Bold. Highly sexual. Strength. Patience. Loving. For me, those are human traits, not based on gender."

They responded "that's why I want you as one of the speakers."

So I'm headed off in two hours to share my story with this class.

Walking home yesterday after some time with C,
a block from my house was a cat in a tree
Grabbing my camera I stopped and I shot
As she hunted for crows, she would crawl and then plot

These black birds up high taunting her in this game
Squawking and teasing and to their acclaim
their presence remained nothing more than a tease
while this cat was still working hard just to seize

Well, as yesterday progressed I realized I couldn't take the afternoon off to paint. Crazy problems at work kept me going. But I did get in some studio time after work, painting and photographed 2 more new pieces.

By the way, the paintings in the b&w photo are not mine. They are the work of one of my studio mates.

12"x12", oil on canvas



11"x14", oil on canvas





studio chair...

Ogunquit buoys...

I'm trying to figure out if I can take the entire afternoon off as vacation time so I can go paint.

Yesterday was a full relax, no dates on my calendar, take a break from the studio, stay home and do nothing day.

It was wonderful.

Spring blossoms...

A painting from last week...18"x24", oil on canvas

Late afternoon sun...

After last night's Capitol Hill artwalk I strolled through Cal Anderson park on my way home. The light was rich and low and there was levity in the air. Seattle knows how to enjoy good weather.

This is the first little painting I did on Monday. It's 12"x12".

I just returned from my therapy appointment. One of the things I mentioned to him was how excessively tired I've been. Yes, a part of it is allergies, but a large part is emotional. It feels like I've been in a pressure cooker. So much in my life is going well. Better than well. I'm thriving. And yet, along with that is constant heart hurt. It is tiring.

My shrink is all sorts of excited about this phase. He said that I'm on the path and all I need to do is keep on keeping on. I gave him one of my cutting glares.

He then said that it's really good that I'm pushing myself to paint while feeling so spent because there's no energy for anything other than my insides to come out. Painting instead of thinking.

I have a bunch of emails to respond to but they'll have to wait a bit. It's a sunny, warm day, I'm strapping on my sandals and am hopping a bus to the studio.

It's my Friday. It's been a full week...with work, struggling with tiredness, and pushing myself into the studio each evening. Tonight I'm hitting a few openings and then looking forward to longer stretches of studio time this weekend.

I'm excited about a new batch of paintings begun this week. They've been photographed while still in progress but have been too busy to upload into my computer. Yesterday, after leaving work about 3, went home, immediately changed and headed for the studio where after painting, met a friend and we did a studio dinner. When I returned at 8, I turned off my phone, didn't check email, peeled off my clothes and crawled into bed.

It has been one of those weeks. Hustling. And rich.

It's not even 9 am and I've already received a few wonderful surprises.

A coworker who makes killer banana bread brought in the last saved slice for me just because she knows I love her bread. And just as I was eating the last couple bites, another coworker walked in with a grande latte and placed it on my desk. "I rushed here as fast as I could on my scooter so it would still be hot. And I didn't even spill a drop!"

Have I recently said how much I love my coworkers?

It's gonna be a good day...

Late Friday afternoon we were walking down Broadway. It was still bright and sunny. Looking up I noticed massive, extra puffy clouds. They felt out of the ordinary. Beautiful.

I'm sitting in my new office, slowly getting acclimated to the space. It's strange because I was in the old office for 8 years. But that office was in direct line to the front door and next to the kitchen, which meant much traffic and noise. Now there is more privacy and it may even be quieter. It should assist with greater focus.

For the last week I've been excessively tired. It took much will to force myself down to the studio last night. I think the effort was rewarded with a sweet little painting. Or maybe it's really crap and I was too tired to see it clearly. I'll find out this evening.

Now it's time to plan my day and work through my to do list.

I'll leave you with a lovely link my boss sent me this morning. It's from the photo blog of the NY Times.

From the site:

Here it is: Earth, covered by stacks of thousands of virtual photographs, corresponding in location to where they were taken by Lens readers at one “Moment in Time” (15:00 U.T.C., Sunday, May 2).

It's a virtual tour of a moment in time.

Check it out.

Saturday was a long day, but a good one.

Craig and I were busy each painting our offices. After the moving of furniture, the taping and the coat of primer we headed out for mexican food and tequila. Upon our return we were able to lay down the color. It was nice paint and so we only (thank goodness) needed one coat.

Today I'll slowly work on moving things from my old space to the new.

Some more shots from yesterday's Farmer's Market. It was opening day of the market and will run until the middle of December. An acoustic string band was set up under a tent. Their name? Pickled Okra.

I liked her hat.

Thinking of my mom while at the farmer's market today...

It's 6:30 am Saturday morning and I'm at the office. A large pot of coffee is on and I'm just waiting for Craig to join me. I'm changing offices but needed to paint the new one before I move everything in there. And C. will be repainting his office as well.

When we moved into this space 8 years ago, the designer had come up with a palette of 4 colors and each staff member could choose their preferred color. The new space I'm going into has orange/rust walls which are beautiful, but not conducive for me to be quiet and focus on numbers and spreadsheets. I'll be repainting them a sage green. It's more calming.

We were going to begin this project yesterday evening but I was too tired (still recovering from art walk and being sick). It felt more prudent to stay in and get an early start today.

It's gorgeous out and today would have been a perfect day to walk all the way down to the studio and do some work. I'm itching to begin new paintings. But I've put off this particular task for about 6 months and it's time.

Last night we had a special guest in the studio. He's a little 10 week old labrador who was abandoned on the streets in Mexico City, found by someone visiting the city and after dealing with paperwork and vets, was able to bring him to his new home in Seattle. His name is Girabaldi, for the Plaza in Mexico City where he was discovered. He spent his time happily chewing on his rawhide while receiving much attention.

It was a good art walk filled with friends and some needed touch when I was a wee bit frazzled due to a combination of feeling heart hurt and getting over being sick. There were also many fruitful conversations and it was a packed house.

Early this morning, after picking up my coffee I headed to the grocery store to purchase yogurt for the weekend. While there I picked up a couple cans of tunafish for tomorrow's postal carrier food drive. It was 6:30 am and I noticed a woman in front of me making a large purchase of many canned goods. Please leave something with your mail carrier tomorrow for the annual
Stamp Out Hunger campaign.

Today I need to return to the studio for a scheduled studio visit and then I'm supposed to head to my office to paint the walls in my space. Right now, I'm pretty peopled out and would rather spend the entire day alone but I'm sure to regain some energy in the next 3 or 4 hours.

May Art Walk - First Thursday



First, a very cool notice about free parking for this art walk. The Pioneer Square Community Association has partnered with the Merrill Place Garage to offer free parking for art walk attendees. Details at this link.

Although I think I've been flirting with a bug or something for the last few days, and needed to leave work early today because of it, I'm still planning on being at art walk tomorrow night. Showing all the new work, completed and in progress.

Come on down!

6-9:30ish pm
619 Western Ave
4th floor South
The Sophia Room

The skies were breathtaking. There was so much character in the clouds and the sea was reflecting the dynamic weather.

I knew when I moved to Seattle in August 1998 that it wouldn't be forever. I knew I was leaving my home and would one day return to the east.

This time at the beach has me straining to figure out how to create a life that allows me to touch my home more often. I can clearly imagine living in a little town away from the touristy shores where I can paint, garden, cook...and live more simply. To get up in the morning and walk down to the beach...sit on the rocks...or stare at the weather as it comes up over the horizon.

With that kind of life you may wonder where my kink fits in. Trust me, it does. I prefer a more organic, non-consumeristic way of accessing and enjoying my sex. It flows in and out of all I do, devoid of labels and structure.

Just like the oceans waves.

Although I had planned to take a fair amount of alone time...seeing my parent's joy kept me going. They've each had a really difficult last few years, struggling with their own physical stuff, and so can no longer do all the exploring on their own that they used to love.

So I took the time and would drive them around so they could see the places they'd always enjoyed. On Wednesday we drove up to Kennebunk and then into Kennebunkport, where I was able to run out on the jetty.

We found a little restaurant and grabbed a table overlooking the water. That's when I shot this photo. Dad treated me to a lazy man's lobster for lunch. It arrived in a large bowl...nothing but delectable and fresh lobster...sitting in melted butter. It was the size of two massive handfuls of the most awesome meat. Very decadent.

But the best was my folks' happiness.

Although I'm back in Seattle, a part of me is still here.

From Brown's Lobster Pound...

I showed my coworker the photo this morning and he said "it's Death Row!"

On our way home we drove through Hampton Beach in NH where I noticed they were reconstructing the beach. So I had to stop and grab a photo.

In York, at Short Sands beach, I always loved putting my nose to the window and watching taffy get pulled. As I grew up I learned to keep my nose away from the glass but still spent quite a bit of time watching the taffy.

Except this time. 'Tis not the season for the taffy machine.

A couple more in color before I return to my usual b&w.

From Seabrook, NH - the juxtaposition of the nuclear power plant and commercial fishing boats has always freaked me out.

When I stepped out of the car to take this first photo, the wind almost knocked me off my feet. I received a mouthfull of sand and almost lost my glasses that were on top of my head. I had to get back in the car and stick my camera out the window to capture the shot.






It was Thursday at lunchtime. We were headed back to western MA and I chose to mosey along the shore road for as long as I could. Being hungry we asked for a good place to eat. One of the locals suggested Brown's Lobster Pound. Check the link for details.

It's a large, plain place where you order at the window and then bring your food to another room, a vast space filled with picnic tables surrounded by 3 walls of windows overlooking the salt marshes. A family business, they've been in operation since 1950. The food took a little while but it was worth the wait. My New England peeps...I recommend checking it out.

I do enjoy the periodic fancy schmancy dinners such as the one the night before, but for me, New England coastal food is really all about the little fish shacks and more rustic places such as Bob's Clam Shack in Kittery or Brown's in Seabrook. No frills. Simple. Down to earth friendly staff. And very delicious.

The light at the beach was pretty phenomenal. When you have a mix of storm clouds and periodic sunshine...it creates an ethereal quality. I couldn't help but shoot some in color...even though it's frustrating because the substance behind the color just does not translate. It tends to serve better as a memory.

Okay. One more photo before I head to the studio.

The hotel I stay in has an out of season package deal that includes an entire meal at Clay Hill Farm. Exceptional food. Lovely ambiance. Wonderful service. So we had that special meal on Wednesday night, our last evening in Ogunquit.

This was my appetizer...and it was so incredibly delicious. Toasted challah (egg bread) topped with watercress, fresh lobster meat, hollandaise and caviar. The bread wasn't greasy, the hollandaise was just enough and not over-sauced. There was a healthy portion of lobster above and under the hollandaise. And how can you go wrong with caviar? It was a delicate dish.

Although the entire meal was superb, I'm still thinking about this appetizer.

Wednesday morning I walked to the big beach and sat on this walkway that leads down to the sand. The tide was coming in and I was entranced, and so spent quite a while just watching. It wasn't dramatic. There were no huge waves crashing over the rocks. But it was seductive and calming.

I've a buttload of photos I want to post. It will happen in spurts. This morning, I'm headed to the studio to reintroduce myself to the new paintings.