I committed my weekend to sorting out the new studio space in my home.  It's been a challenge, but coming along and very much worth it.

Last night I had a wonderful break by meeting Mark for dinner.  We headed to the Grange.  My second trip, his first…and it was amazing.  Everything we ate was phenomenal.   What I really like about the food is that it doesn't pretend to be something else.  I love vegetarian & vegan dishes but am not a fan of vegetarian restaurants that try to seduce meat lovers by offering plates replicating meat dishes.

Instead, there is a mindfulness for the quality of each ingredient and how it is mated with others, highlighting the best of each.  Like great sex.

Afterward, M needed to return to his commitments and I chose to attend Waterfire, the first of the season.  I never made it last year and so was thrilled I had the opportunity.  It was a pretty fabulous evening, strolling the canal, looking at all the burns while music filled the air.  

And today, after two days of working...the studio is getting there! All the boxes on the left are art supplies and that's tomorrow's project. The bookcase now holds the art books of my fave painters on the bottom two shelves. Then the others are a shelf of written journals (which I still do because it is more personal than typing) and a shelf of sketchbooks. It feels good to have those accessible...referencing for future work. This photo was taken about 4:30 pm. Still nice light.

Since I've moved, my studio has been the holding tank for boxes and stuff as I'm slowly unpacking.  Part of this weekend's festivities is to finish turning this room into my painting space.  The bulk of my canvases is already stored in my living room closet and I've been tackling the boxes of books.  I'm very much looking forward to painting again.

Summer has arrived in Providence and all I can think about are the many beach trips in my near future.

it's been 19 months since i first began packing to move east. it started with packing my studio in the 619 and placing art stuff in storage.  the next 5 months consisted of prepping to leave a job of 12 years and packing my apartment.  since arriving in providence, i've been renting a room for the last year.

on friday, friends kindly came by to help me move furniture around and get a sense of where things should be.  i was too tired to think clearly.  now I can unpack my books, put up blinds, curtains and paintings and finally see the light that beckons home.

i had no idea how exhausted the last almost two years have made me until yesterday when i came down with a nasty cold and am essentially out flat. but…the bulk of the apartment will be done in the next few weeks.

friday night. 

five friends. 

fondue. 

fire.

perfect.

Still have things to do in the kitchen and the living room and the bedroom and the bathroom...but it will take time.  In a holding pattern.  So now I'm finally beginning to clear out the studio and make room for painting.

Before moving from west to east last year I got rid of a ton of extra clothes I no longer wore.   About an hour ago I finished going thru all my clothes.  Everything is sorted by season, unpacked, folded or hung up.   And now there is a large trash bag that will be full once I put the remaining clothes in it.   

This my friends comes from menopause.  After fluctuating very little for about 25 years, in 12 months my middle became thicker and stuff stopped fitting.   For me, it's the most frustrating part of this season of my life.

Yesterday and today I sat on my new front stoop enjoying the sunshine, the warmth, the smell of blossoming spring and the view.   This is what I see from my front steps.

Today I realized how tired I really am.   It's been a long two years, with having to leave the 619 Arts building in Seattle and then in a holding pattern for 6 months until I moved to Providence.

In Providence, although I've been working and painting and slowly getting to connect with folks and learn the area and staying in a wonderful place…it wasn't my home.   Renting a room is not the same, especially at 53 years old.

Today it hit me that I can't believe I'm setting up my house. 

I wonder what the future has in store.  

In unpacking I am going through boxes that I packed in February 2012 and haven't opened until now.

I am intentionally unpacking slowly because I want to get to know the space...feel its character.  In a way it's a meditation on this new relationship with another home, a mindfulness.  Here is a little study in white I created in my kitchen. 

It's been a crazy few weeks.  The day before my flight to Seattle I was in the studio completing all the packing.  The day before that was spent painting the kitchen and the living room in the new apartment.   Then a whirlwind few days in the Emerald City which was filled with love, joy and phenomenal music.  

Took a redeye from Seattle to Providence on Monday night.  I was in Providence by 9:30 Tuesday morning and crashed all day.  Up at 5 am Wednesday morning to take apart my bed and had to meet the movers at the studio at 8 am.    

Hiring movers was money well spent.  They had me all moved in by 11 am and then I could turn to the task of setting up my home.   

This is the living room in my new apartment which I will convert into my new studio space.   I will then take the largest of the 2 bedrooms for a living room.  Minus the bay window space, the new studio is 14 x 14 square.  The windows face west and there is a large tree in front so it will remain cool in the summer.  

And here is the studio on Wednesday after the movers left.

Wednesday night was the first night in my new apartment. Before going to sleep, I made sure the coffee and coffee maker were readily available for morning. Upon waking, I stumbled into the kitchen and a soft "ahhh" filled the room. The kitchen windows face east which makes for beautiful morning light. 

In Seattle for a few days to show my sister around and listen to my niece perform at the Triple Door tomorrow night as she begins her west coast tour.

Oh Seattle how I've missed you.  I love my east coast but you will always be a part of my heart.

This morning a friend wisely wrote about how the desire for vengeance seems to be silencing the call for compassion.  

I agree and replied to his post with "I very much believe that people aren't born wanting to commit heinous acts. Those who do are also victims because something broke inside them...physiologically, emotionally, spiritually. The whole mess is phenomenally heartwrenching."  

Vengeance begets vengeance.  It's a vicious cycle. 

On another note, today I begin packing the studio.  My fridge and two very large canvases were taken away this week.  Two drawing tables are leaving this weekend.  I'm trying to simplify not only because of space but in an attempt to assist with greater focus when I return to painting.    Photo is a detail of a painting on one of the canvases that was carted away.

Wow.  It's been an incredibly busy week.  

Photo from last Sunday's studio crit group.  Before indulging in art, we indulged in a chocolate tasting...Paris, Madagascar, Ecuador and Mexico.  I brought the two cheeses, a lovely Drunken Goat, and a Hard cider English cheddar.

Last night I put down a deposit on a lovely, character-filled 2 b/r apartment just off Broadway, near Julian's.   I'll find out Monday if I get the place.  And if I don't, I know there's something better waiting for me.

Afterward, Serena, Daved and I walked over to The Grange - a lounge, vegetarian restaurant and coffee house.  It's only been open for a week.  The atmosphere and decor is wonderful.  The drinks, fantastic.   And, they serve Stumptown Coffee, created in Portland OR.

Much on my mind.   How sane is it to be looking for an apt, a studio and a job at the same time? 

Feels like a year ago when I moved. I need to lessen my expenses and so am thinking of letting go of my studio. Also, although my room has been a perfect landing spot, I miss having my own apt. I want to pull my things out of boxes. Today I saw a wonderful 2 b/r apt near Julian's here on Fed Hill and the living room with 10 ft ceiling and a large bay window would make a fab studio. My other option is to get a smaller studio space. I'm looking at one on Thursday night. And my great temp gig ends in 3 weeks. So I also am on the hunt for a job. Too many decisions right now.

happy easter.

I'm still recuperating and feel so much better than a few days ago, but needed to cancel my weekend plans which included a museum trip and catching up with a friend as well as time with my family.

Today I was feeling stronger but not strong enough to drive the 90 miles to my family.

So it's been a quiet day.   Catching up with season 5 of Mad Men.  Working out ideas for a new series. And thinking about my life.

It's really unsettling to see myself in a strange place and I don't mean location.  My temp gig ends in 3 weeks and I've been thinking about what to do next.  I've worked so hard all my life and have had a gift of time for most of the last year which meant looking at new possibilities.   In the last 2 months, the reality of my finances has affected my painting.   I've been mourning the space I'd have for exploration and instead was focused on what the work can bring to me.  That's not a way for me to create.  I don't like that pressure.

So...unless life throws me a surprise...I'm going to buckle down and seek out permanent full time work.  In some way it feels like I'm going backward but maybe I'm not.  I don't need to hold onto the job forever.   But right now I need some stability.  

I've spent much of this weekend sitting on my stoop enjoying the spring air.  Today's photo was taken there.

Saturday I spent 7 hrs completing a grant application that I had been struggling with for three months.  From there I spent a half hour in line at the post office to mail it out Priority Mail. 

Afterward I went out for a celebratory dinner with a friend. Within 5 minutes of getting home I was hit hard with a nasty cold. I was telling friends that I was thrilled I hadn't gotten sick like everyone else this winter.   But It was apparently waiting until I was done.

It's taken everything I have to make thru my day job while continually double-checking my work because my head is so full and fuzzy that I make mistakes. Chills. Sneezing. Coughing. And today...a nonstop runny nose. I hate being crazy stupid sick. The photo taken in Ptown when I was there early in Feb.

It's been a rigorous winter....but the end is in sight.  After a self-imposed deadline of March 20th, things should be clearing up.

Photo taken last month in Ptown.

About 2 pm I'm driving on 146N thinking I can make it thru the little snow band between Providence and Sturbridge on my way to western MA where the weather was clear.  As soon as I crossed into MA, the snow became thicker and it was almost white out conditions.  At Exit 5, the state troopers had closed the road headed north and we all had to get off.  A quick call to my sister and we discovered that the area I need to go thru is getting hit with a pretty major storm and even all my out of the way alternate routes were dealing with the same mess.   I had to turn around and make it back to Providence.  Will try again early in the a.m.   

Photo taken on 146N as we were stopped on the highway.  

It's been a crazy February.  Thankfully things should be settling in...and I can get back to a routine.

Yesterday was a quick day trip to NYC to support a friend who had an opening in Chelsea.  In 7 hours I saw some great art, attended a reception and had a wonderful couple hours over a great meal with a friend.  

Here are some photos from yesterday.

February has been an insane month.   I began a new job at the beginning of the month.  Then this week, I began two other very part time jobs in addition to the day one.  All the while, I haven't been sleeping well and waking with a pinched nerve which makes for painful leg movement until I'm up and walking for a bit....due to the fact that my bed bit the dust.   New bed arriving next week.  

This has created much exhaustion.  I enjoy the jobs but they all happened at the same time which can be a little crazy-making.  I haven't had any any energy left over to paint.   But I've been dealing with getting my work out and about...again in Seattle, including shipping a painting to be part of an installation.

Hopefully I can touch the canvas tomorrow while in the studio.  This is the last painting I did almost 3 weeks ago.  It's 24"x18", oil on canvas.  

Early in the morning heading to work...

Monday, on Westminster St.   The shovel brigade.  :-)

About 10 am today I finally managed to get my car out and tooled downtown for a bit.  It's been raining all day and the temps are quite a bit above freezing.  As you can imagine, the streets and sidewalks are quite a mess.   Large slushy puddles and no room for the quick melting snow.

Photo taken on my way home after my quick little excursion.

Photos from a short walk I took last night.  Our street still isn't plowed.   SUV's and trucks can get through okay but small cars like mine keep getting stuck.  I may not be going anywhere tomorrow.  We shall see.

I'm hankering for a longer walk but don't have the boots yet.   For the last two weeks, I kept telling myself to buy snow boots but because I loathe shopping, I didn't.   This morning I ordered boots from Lands End and will be getting them in a couple days.   I want to explore my snowy white world on foot!

Beautiful morning on my street.  And folks are still digging out. 

More photos from Storm Nemo here in Providence RI, all taken around my home this morning.

It's 8:30 pm and we are about one third of the way through Storm Nemo.   Fortunately I still have power although 3 blocks away there is no power and College Hill is also in the dark.  Photo taken from my front door.

Thought I prepped yesterday until I realized I was almost out of peppermint oil.  It's fantastic stuff for keeping the mice away and I didn't want to run out during the storm.  So a rare Whole Foods trip this morning for the oil.  It was a mob scene but people, including the cashiers, were cheery.  Home to settle in and 3 hrs later realized I was dangerously low on half and half.  Trekked to corner store.  Then I turned into the liquor store to replenish the fireball whiskey.   My new Sunday gig with children's book author postponed until next week.   Three days of hunkering down and relaxing....with a little computer work, reading and drawing in the mix.  It was snowing early this morning.   Wind is picking up a little.  Still snowing.  

Normally when I do play paintings, they tend to begin as still lifes.  Yesterday, after working another painting, I didn't want to think about anything and so simply began quickly grabbing whatever color was on my palette and moved paint around.   It's like playing in a sandbox.  And the bourbon didn't hurt.  

30"x40", oil on canvas.

(Photo isn't very good.)

Today, after a short studio stint I came home to chill.  This afternoon I figured that I'd hit the gym during the Super Bowl because it would be quieter, hence perfect.  And it was.   But when I returned home I realized the game wasn't for another couple hours.   Clearly I am still on Seattle time.

Three years ago, on my 50th birthday, a good friend gifted me with a bottle of bourbon.  I hadn't opened it because I was waiting for the right moment.   Oddly, today just before painting I knew it was time.   I dug into my stash of still packed boxes in my studio storage closet and found a box labelled "kitchen stuff and bourbon".  There was the bottle, all safely packaged in loads of bubble wrap.

Sometimes the perfect moment isn't about trumpets and rainbows.  Sometimes, it just is.